


Diversionary Tactics

by orphan_account



Series: The Sassy Angel Chronicles [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-15
Updated: 2013-01-15
Packaged: 2017-11-25 15:12:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/640192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Take one angry Hunter,</p><p>an Angel with delusions of grandeur, </p><p>add some pie and mix...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Diversionary Tactics

**Author's Note:**

> I've watched the first four seasons of Supernatural about 2 years ago...
> 
> So basically all my knowledge of the fandom is from tumblr...
> 
> So you can imagine how much sense you'll find here... (hint: none)
> 
> Don't take this story seriously! It's supposed to be a bit of cracky fun! =)

‘Where have you been, Cas? We needed you, _I_ needed you and you were _gone_.’ Dean’s whispered words were powerful.

Long ago Castiel had noticed Dean’s voice would get low and slow when he was trying to make a point. Almost a raspy growl.

It took more than that to intimidate An Angel. He selected a response that was most likely to change the topic.

 

‘I have been studying this human ritual of _anal penetration_.’

The Angel’s voice sounded completely bland and his expression presented his usual polite disinterest.

Bingo! Objective attained! Complete and utter shock really was a good look on the Hunter.

 

To The Angel’s surprise Dean’s sudden rendition of a gaping fish promptly disappeared. Now his face bore a look of irritated worry.

Castiel rapidly reevaluated the situation. He did not take into account Dean’s sporadic episodes of _Maturity_.

He sighed in defeat and awaited the inevitable.

 

‘Cas…tell me you have been… _careful_.’ The Hunter started, he was visibly uncomfortable.

‘Your body, your vessel… Is it not mortal? You could get some STD you inconsiderate douchebag!’

Dean’s ire seemed to be gaining momentum. ‘Just tell me you used a condom!’ He finally shouted at the unhappy Angel.

Cas tried to find a satisfactory solution but only one viable option came to mind. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

He was an Angel of the Lord. He could do this.

 

‘My exploration of this venue was… shall we say… of the _solitary_ nature.’ He did his best not to let a sour look cross his face.

Bland was the way. He knew he would prevail, his poker face was legendary!

 

Dean was silent. His face twitched through a variety of expressions.

Finally, he seemed to settle on one of amused horror with just a dash of aroused interest.

Castiel did not dare even blink. This was so not his day. On the other hand the original topic was forgotten.

Cas internally congratulated himself on a game well played. So what if not by his rules.

 

‘Hey guys, I’m back! And I’ve got pie!’ The Angel could have wept in relief. He now owed Samuel The Moose a debt of gratitude!

Dean seemed similarly relieved and with an overexcited exclamation of ‘Give it, Bitch!’ he proceeded to happily attack some innocent pie.

**Author's Note:**

> How was it? ^,^


End file.
